If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
