Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
