Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
only if we run a train.
done.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
