im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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