I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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