Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
