"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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