I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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