gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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