dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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