I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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