Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
