In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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