...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize