He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
