why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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