that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have post one night stand depression
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