I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize