I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In America we eat man semen.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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