i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
