I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
