Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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