Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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