Christians are straight up FREAKS
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
