This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
