They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this boner is exhausting
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
third nipple confirmed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
