Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
