OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
