I hate your face
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize