he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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