So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
