We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize