I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Randomize
