Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
