my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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