No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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