i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hippo gnu deer
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
