No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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