goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
