Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
