I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
