Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
