I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
