this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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