I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
