Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
