Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
