I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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