i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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