did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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