Pants 0. Shit 1.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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