He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The air taste purple.
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