oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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