Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
