it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
