Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
