are you so shy because you have an std?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
