I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
