oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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