I'm really into asian looking animals
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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