At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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