its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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