wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
