Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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