This is not my ceiling
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
