Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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