I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
