He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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