I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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