So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
