You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
