he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
being pregnant is like rehab
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
