her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
