It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
